Omegle

Recently a friend informed me of a relatively new phenomenon known as ‘Omegle’. What is Omegle I hear you ask? Well, simply the creepiest thing imaginable.

‘Omegle is a brand-new service for meeting new friends. When you use Omegle, we pick another user at random and let you have a one-on-one chat with each other. Chats are completely anonymous, although there is nothing to stop you from revealing personal details if you would like.’

‘If you would like’, can you smell the fraud there? Now, I’m sorry if I’m offending people here but seriously, what kind of person uses an annonymous chatroom to make friends? To be fair, I suppose it’s not as desperate as yer’ wan last week, but you get the general idea. Out of pure curiousity (I swear.) myself and a friend decided to have a go and slowly became addicted… Here are some gems of conversation I have come across. For the laughs only, obviously.

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Do you remember Pokemon?

Stranger: Of course

You: Then you’re too old for me.

You have disconnected.

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hello

You: do you have a vagina?

Stranger: good morning comrade

Stranger: no, in soviet russia vagina has you

You: Oh excellent

You: a vagina that has me

You: What is it like near the cremlin?

You: Is it snowing there?

You: Are there tonnes of free bottles of vodka?

Stranger: Yes, it’s raining blood

Very quickly the conversation desended into a communist battle against the Germans, until,

You: THEN WE CAN BEGIN THE INVASION OF AMERICA.

You: WE WILL TAKE ALL THEIR BURGERS AWAY.

Stranger: FUCKING YANKEES

You: That will teach them.

Stranger: WE WILL CLOSE KFC

You: NO NO NO NO

Stranger: AND OPEN THE POOLS

You: KFC is for everyone,

You: Leave KFC be.

Your conversation partner has disconected.

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Brazil?

You: Sure, why not.

Your conversation partner has disconected.

I don’t even know….

Of course we had our fair share of complete idiots but it would be too exhausting to even mention them here.

My intention of this article was to point out the stupidity of people, but, it seems I’ve gotten carried away with the funny aspect of internet chatrooms. I can assure you though that an amusing conversation comes maybe once in every hundred. It really is hard to believe how these peoples minds work!

Stranger: I thought you peoples don’t have computers in Africa!! 😮

You: We don’t.

Stranger: In Finland every one has computer.

You: You’re so lucky, I wish I had a computer.”

Maybe I just have too much time on my hands? Either way, at least someone in Finland believes that there are no computers yet, there is internet in Africa. I’ll sure sleep tonight!

By Amy Coyle for ‘The Glass Onion’

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